


oblivious

by azurill



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: F/F, Modern AU, beta read by thewaitingfangirl, but nothing ever happened, where ellie and dina had a mutual crush on each other when they were younger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 11:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21373162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azurill/pseuds/azurill
Summary: "I like this. It’s pretty."Ellie looks at her, eyes warm like whiskey, warm like the heat that pools in the pit of her stomach and she thinks yes, yes, you are. She doesn’t tell her that, though. Of course not.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 156





	oblivious

She’s thirty minutes and at least three shots in when someone hits her elbow, causing the amber, musky liquid to spill over her hand. It’s the cherry on the top, the icing on the cake, the last straw for what was a terrible trip, a terrible day and a terrible bar. She turns with a curse burning in her tongue and clenched fists and instead of an all-consuming rage blazing out, her heart catches in her throat, the anger gone like a candle blown out. 

She knows the person on her right, spluttering apologies as she keeps her eyes glued to the floor before she even looks at her — would know her voice anywhere, anytime, even five years after she last heard it. 

(A few nights earlier, Ellie couldn't sleep. Her fingertips hovered over the call button — or maybe that's too straightforward and she should send a text instead? Should she even try at all? It's like the universe is playing some sort of prank on her, to have Dina show up _ here _ and _ now _.)

Her hair is longer than Ellie remembers, brown curls freely cascading down her shoulders and a strand of hair tucked behind her ears. She’s wearing a light grey coat, unfit for the weather that turned colder on the course of a day. Her heels are pointed to the exit, ready to bolt. "Dina?" 

Dina — it is her, unmistakably her — tilts her head, a hint of a laugh on the corner of her lips. Ellie’s voice is loud and high when she calls out her name, turning the attention of a few people in the bar. "What are you doing here?" Ellie asks, regrets her harsh tone as soon as the words come out of her mouth. 

She doesn’t seem to notice it at all. “I’m so sorry for ruining your shirt, I swear I’ll —“ 

Ellie looks down at the sleeves of her dark green shirt, stained brown. "Don’t worry, I hated this shirt," Ellie laughs, a little mesmerized by the fact she’s there, right in front of her. "I asked you something." 

"Ask again?" she says, flushed, clumsily sitting on the stool next to Ellie, hooking her heels on the bar table and finally seeming to recover some sense of dignity. She orders a drink, then. It looks a lot like she needs it. "I'm really sorry." 

"Let's start over, alright? What are you doing here?" 

"Left my job," She wasn't going to ask why, but Dina speaks up without being prompted. "I can do better with my life than writing articles about some B-grade celebrity and her ass. I think. I'm not sure yet." 

Ellie remembers her, of course she does — smart, outspoken, standing out wherever she went. She sees the tiredness in the dark circles under her eyes and on the sluggish movements of her hands steering the cup towards her lips. There's still_that _Dina underneath it all, in the sparkling of her eyes under the golden lightbulbs, in her presence, always strong enough to pull her gaze like a magnet. It’s not hard at all for Ellie to understand why she fell in love with her back then. She takes another shot instead of speaking about it. Stares at the stupid quotes on the wall. It’s too much. 

Dina redirects the question back at her when the silence lingers for long enough to bother her. “So, what brings you here?”

"On a trip," Ellie replies and doesn’t elaborate. 

"Still living in Texas?" Ellie makes an affirmative noise on the back of her throat. "Joel?" 

"Still kicking." 

"Old man," Dina says fondly, too fondly for someone who never really seemed to be around Ellie that much. "Never thought I'd find you here in the city. You always struck me as a country girl." 

"If it makes you feel better, I can't wait to have some peace in the middle of nowhere. You, still dating," She pretends not to know his name, but damn, she knows it. Seethed over it for ages. Just her luck to fall in love with the straight girl and keep it alive for years. "Jesse?" 

Dina cringes as if she were sixteen again and Ellie just asked her if she slept with their old chemistry teacher. “Oh, God, no. We're still good friends and were coworkers until this morning, but no." 

"When you say friends, do you mean —" 

"No. Definitely not.” 

Ellie barely stops herself from sighing in relief. She's single. Not that anything is ever going to happen between them, she decides quickly. Dina is still way out of her league, just like she was in high school.

“You, uh, dating anyone?” 

“Not now.” 

“How long ago then?” 

“A year,” Ellie says, watches Dina’s throat bobbing as she drinks. 

“Good.” 

“Good?” 

Dina smiles, then, the pads of her fingers tracing the tattoo on her forearm, softly enough for Ellie to feel herself growing hot under her gaze and her unassuming touch. Her chipped nail polish leaves a little blue speck behind. "I like this. It’s pretty." 

Ellie looks at her, eyes warm like whiskey, warm like the heat that pools in the pit of her stomach and she thinks yes, yes, _ you are_. She doesn’t tell her that, though. Of course not. 

“You look like shit.” 

Her head is thrown back in laughter, like Ellie just said a terribly funny joke, even though it’s not funny at all. The conversation jumps from subject to subject — Joel’s cracking bones, her dog who keeps chewing shoes, Dina’s hopes for the future — and on the course of the night, she finds out a lot about the old Dina, and the new one as well.

She finds out she hates jazz and that’s a hell of a surprise; she thought she loved it, with how she loved music and dancing. Could imagine her on the stage with a woman singing on their left. It’s just another fantasy about Dina that was blown up into pieces, added to the pile of a thousand others she conjured during her teenage years. She finds out Dina had a coworker named Marnie who was a complete asshole and stole her food unless she labeled it hers, and that baby blue is her new favorite color. _Not green_, _Ellie,_ _not green_. _You got that wrong_.

At some point, Dina grabs a chocolate bar out of her bag and Ellie doesn't know how she can do it, gets queasy just by thinking about eating after she drank enough alcohol to make her the slightest tipsy.

“I’ve always wanted a tattoo,” Dina brings up another subject, licking a spot of chocolate on the corner of her mouth until it disappears. “But I don’t wanna do it alone.” 

“I can go with you,” she offers, strangely brave. “If you— if you’re okay with that. I’ll be staying here for a few days. Get to know the city. You know the drill.” 

“I’d love that. We,” Ellie feels butterflies at the mere mention of a _ we _, a them, a together. “Could get to know it together.” 

“You’ve lived here for, what, three years?” 

“Two,” she clarifies. “I didn’t go out much, I guess. There’s a place I’d like to see...” 

Dina still gestures wildly when she tells her stories, pauses once in a while until Ellie nods her head as a sign that she’s still listening. She feels like she’s a teenager all over again, her heart beating wildly inside her ribcage at every little glance she throws her way. Ellie doesn’t notice the clock ticking until a waitress taps on her back — _ we’re closing soon _, she says — and Dina smiles at her sweetly, mutters a thanks before wrapping her arm around Ellie’s waist to guide her outside. Ellie feels the need to tell her she’s not exactly a lightweight anymore and manages, with some degree of success, to stand her ground and to walk in a straight line all by herself. 

“I’ll take you home,” she says after some time sitting in the sidewalk, a flickering yellow lamplight the only thing keeping them from being in complete darkness. Ellie touches Dina’s arm as she speaks. 

Her are already on Ellie. She swears they shine just a little more. “You takin’ me home?” 

Ellie shrugs, heat tinting her cheeks. Her voice was perfectly designed to get a reaction out of her, and she succeeded. “Not safe for you to be alone.” 

“’m not alone,” Dina mumbles. “I’m with you.” 

Dina clutches a bottle to her chest like it's a baby as they walk out in the chilly after-midnight hours, with Dina tugging her pale pink scarf closer to her neck and Ellie with her hands shoved in her pockets. She wants to reach out for her when she notices how cold Dina is, but — but nothing. She just can’t. 

After some time Dina complains about her having parked her car so far. Ellie retorts the place wasn’t exactly empty when she came and she lets out a long, dramatic sigh, like she used to before. 

“Fair,” Dina says, makes a noise akin to a cat purring as another wave of shivers overcomes her body. “My house is closer than your car is, you know.” 

“You trying to say something?” 

“Mm. I did have a bit of a crush on you.” 

Ellie smartly says, "Huh?" 

"For real. Jesse would tease me to hell and back about it." 

"You're fucking with me." 

"Nope. Surprising how you never noticed it, with the way I looked at you. I wasn't the only one, neither. You were just that oblivious." 

Ellie wants to tell her that she looked at her too. That she dreamt of the day she would look at her and she’d already be looking, waiting, inviting her. It sounds too creepy even for her, so she doesn't. She turns to look at Dina when she shyly coaxes Ellie’s left hand out of her pocket, tangling their fingers together. Dina gets bolder, leaning her head on Ellie’s shoulders and she couldn’t help but sneaks an arm around her waist, the other girl instantly perking up at that. She was really responsive, Ellie noted with a slight flush to her cheeks. 

Not that it mattered.

They walk in a way that’s awkward and uncoordinated at best, her gangly limbs seeming even heavier and clumsier. Dina’s heels make a scraping sound in the asphalt and the passing cars shine headlights on their faces and all Ellie can think is that she’s gonna wake up anytime, that none of it is real — Dina, Dina holding her hand, Dina having a crush on her — how could any of it be true? 

“Are you drunk?" she blurted out.

"I'm not drunk." That can only mean that everything was done out of her own desire. It’s all that much scarier, in a way. "Not that drunk, at least." 

"You've only ever had boyfriends." She says out of lack of options. Because, this? Dina? It can't be. 

"Surely you've heard of people who like both men and women, haven't you? It isn't an unfamiliar concept?" 

"Oh." 

"Yeah," Dina smiles, a simple grin etched on her face as she points to a window on the third floor of a building. “That’s my apartment.” 

“Looks nice," Still in her arms, Dina turns to face her, reaching one hand to touch Ellie's cheek. "Why — why are you looking at me like that?” 

Ellie sees everything. 

She sees everything because her eyes never close even as Dina presses her lips to hers, tugging on her jacket to bring her close, her lips dry and chapped by the harsh wind. Ellie stays there, dumbfounded until Dina pulls away and she has to do something before she can disappear like mist, like their breaths in the cold — so she kisses her. Again and again and again, until she’s dizzy from it. 

It's crazy how naturally they touch; how naturally they find themselves together, like it was simply meant to be. Dina’s hands find their place behind Ellie’s neck, brushing against the little wisps of hair there. She feels like her chest is swelling with too much love and she brings her just a little bit closer to kiss her one last time. 

She’s pleasantly buzzed by the alcohol — braver, dumber, whatever. She licks her lips. Takes a plunge. "Any chance you still have a crush on me?" 

“Ninety-nine percent,” Dina kisses her again, the shape of her lips stretching into a smile. “Stay with me tonight.” 

“Okay,” Ellie breathes. “Okay.” 

**Author's Note:**

> just gotta say i loved writing this. really did. and mari (thewaitingfangirl on ao3, check her stuff out bec she's talented af!!) — thank you so much for beta reading this story. you're the best!!!! 💕💕💕


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